My parents are coming to visit, and my girlfriend wants to meet them. I like my girlfriend, but I don’t want to send “long-term” signals. She will see through me if I “procrastinate” or “forget to invite her to dinner.” Dr. Adri? I need a plausible excuse. –Cautious in Cali

Cali, your problem is quite common. So, the folks are coming into town, Pretty Little Girlfriend (PLG) wants to come hang, but you don’t want this to turn into A Big Deal (ABD). Well, I would be honest and just say that you haven’t seen your folks in a while and want some time to catch up with them. And if that fails and she insists on meeting them, I wouldn’t invite PLG to formal dinner, but maybe coffee with your folks. That will send the right signal without being so much of ABD. I would also ask her why she is so keen on meeting your parents. Because if she’s ready to get serious and you’re not, then some boundries probably need to be set soon.

My-Quasi-Boyfriend (MQB) met my parents relatively soon into our relationship (at my graduation after we’d been dating a scarce four months) and his work schedule and my parents travel schedule permitted a few fun functions without putting a lot pressure on me. So if all else fails, schedule things when you know PLG will be busy. “Oh, you’re working? That sucks.”