Lately, I’ve been going brazilian down there with a landing strip, and I’m a big fan. I don’t really have a problem with vag-hair, but at the moment I like it this way. My boyfriend isn’t really invested, but enjoys both the hairy and hairless look. I’d really like to go all-out and rid myself of my landing strip to see what it’s like to have a bare vag, but he’s not too comfortable with it — I imagine he’d prefer to have some reminder that I’m not 12. I think my ample bossom should be enough. Anyway,should I go for it or heed his feelings?
–Weary Waxer

My stance on Brazilian Waxing is as follows: No wax on my va-jay-jay. I did take the time to ask a better source what they thought. Quasi-Boyfriend (QB) says that the hairless look isn’t a problem problem, but it really does bug some guys. He doesn’t like it, but really likes the landing strip only. Apparently that line of hair makes a huge difference. It’s your vagina, do what you want. But keep in mind that he may be a little put off by it. I point out that guys aren’t really good at coming out and saying things. So if he tells you he’s not so comfortable, you may want to take heed.

I was just diagnosed with one of those STDs that won’t go away. You know, herpes. I’ve had sex once(recovering Catholic girl) and he got tested and came out negative (which is wack because the holy spirit sure as hell didn’t give it to me), and we’re broken up anyway. So that leaves me single, 22, sexually inexperienced (it was my first time), and now every nice normal kind of guy will scream and run in the opposite direction when I tell him that I have herpes. Yummy. What the hell should I do? I feel like this is punishment for having pre-marital sex. I feel like becoming a nun and working at a leper colony. I feel disgusting. How can I honestly tell guys about my virus in a way that won’t scare them? I have had sex once in my whole life–and I used a condom–this is so not fair.
–Sad and Lonely

I understand the difficulty of your situation. That really does suck. Although, it is likely that former sex guy didn’t give you herpes. Herpes can be transmitted orally (through kissing or oral sex). So, it could have been someone else that you didn’t shag. One of the good things to think about is that you are certainly not alone. 1/5 sexually active people in the US are infected with the virus, with over one million more being added to the list each year. There is plenty of literature available out there about Living with Herpes. (Please click on that link for better information on living with herpes, I am not a doctor or a specialist, so I leave that to them.) I do not think that herpes is a punishment for having premarital sex. I think herpes is a risk of living in an age when not everyone is as careful as they should be. Trust me, I’ve slept with enough people that I should have herpes (considering the statistic above), but I don’t. Why? Regular screenings, extreme (almost insane) caution (dental dam!), and honesty. If you would like to become a nun, I think you still can. But I wouldn’t do it over something as manageable as herpes. You aren’t disgusting, just someone in an unpleasant predicament.

In terms of telling a new lover: this is the hard part. I’m going to tell a story. A long time ago, I met a boy that I really liked and really wanted to shag. Before we shagged, he told me that he had once had a sexually-transmitted-virus of some sort, and we talked about it. I cared enough about being with him that I did some research, looked into living with that kind of risk of infection, and made a decision based on information. 90% of the fuckers you meet out there, are going to run away screaming, “OH MY GOD, you have HERPES?!?” And someone out there that loves you, cares about being with you, and wants to be with you will do some research, make a decision, and take the risk. If you decide to be unethical and not tell your prospective partner, I would suggest extreme protection. You don’t want to live with the guilt of doing that to someone else. I know about guilt, I used to be a good Catholic girl too.