06/08/2006
“Quetzalcoatl”… The Book of Mormon
“The Book of Mormon”…Red Lobster
Why Doesn’t Ask Adri enable commenting on questions and answers?
–Bursting with Comments
Well, the main reason Ask Adri doesn’t do that is because Adri doesn’t know how to do that. She’s in the process of moving to Word Press or livejournal so this is possible, but in the meantime, if an astute reader would like to correct her ignorance, that would totally rock.
06/07/2006
OK, if I pick up a girl at a bar, bring her home, and we shag, then in the morning she asks for some cab money, that’s cool. But what if the “cab money” is enough to take a taxi to another city, 150 miles away? Did I just have sex with a prostitute?
–Confused
Scenario 1: a young lady decides to travel from one city to another with her friends for an evening. Let’s say she travels 150 miles. She’s at a bar, having a drink with her friends when she meets this dashing young gentleman. He takes her back to his place, where he shags her rotten, and the next morning she realizes that her friends have left back to her hometown without her. She is stranded, panicked and in a situation in which she is not quite familiar. So she asks her would be Lothario for some money. And he gives it to her, gives it to her good (speaking of which, did you ever hear the one where a girl walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre, and he gives it to her!). With the money he has given to her, she can now go home and rejoin her friends, her dog fluffy, and fantasize about Confused, the incredible man who made her blush in places she didn’t know changed colors.
or
Scenario 2: She’s a prostitute.
Now, which seems most likely? So, while your use of the word “shag” obviously makes you cool, your inability to ask her questions like “where do you live?” “can’t I just give you a ride?” or “are you a sketchy covert prostitute?” simply do not.
I don’t think I’ve ever heard a true comparison to how often girls masturbate and how often guys masturbate. Speaking honestly, with a lot of guys, it can happen just out of sheer boredom with nothing else to do. While I don’t want to conjure up mental images or anything, to me it’s just kinda unbelievable to think of a girl just masturbating when they get bored. Is this just one of those few sexual stereotypes that actually goes in your favor?
–Curious Guy
I think this really depends on the girl. I’ve met girls that never ever masturbate and like “eww’ who do would that? I’ve met girls who masturbate every night before bed. I’ve met girls who masturbate all the time. In fact, I know about eight girls who are masturbating right now. Female masturbation is much more taboo for reasons beyond me. Probably something to do with women being generally denied the pleasure of their own bodies in most cultures, or the patriarchy. One of those. Wait… those are pretty much the same thing. Either way, I masturbate. Sometimes with a bullet vibrator and sometimes with my hand. How often? About ten times a week. But that’s because I’m liberated and really enjoy orgasms. But then again, there are a lot of girls out there who’ve never orgasmed and totally lie about it all the time. I know it took me a while before I even figured out how to make myself properly orgasm. So maybe girls out there just aren’t able to make themselves cum, so they see no point to the whole endeavor. Either way, more women should masturbate. It’s a great way to relieve stress once or twice before falling asleep.
06/06/2006
HOW COME YOU PUNK OUT OF MOST OF THE HARD QUESTIONS? WHY DON’T YOU JUST ANSWER THEM THE WAY YOU KNOW THE ASKER WANTED THEM ANSWERED?
–MadAsHell
Well, the only questions I ‘punk out of’ are the stupid ones. Which slam poet would I shag? Er… I dunno. I’ve shagged a lot slam poets and frankly, I’m not inclined to ever shag one again. Too much drama, too much gossip, too many factions. A girl can’t get her boob squeezed without a public outcry. I’m not sure what other question I punked out on, but you can let me know. Then again, the website is about me answering questions to the best of my ability. So, MadAsHell, please don’t be mad. Just stop asking silly questions. It’s much easier for me to answer “Would you shag Logan from Flagstaff?” than it is to answer “pick three muppets you should shag.” In other words, ask better questions. And don’t ask them in all -caps. That makes me think you’re screaming at me. Who screams over a silly advice column?
06/04/2006
I’m seriously bored here in Houston. I’m here for the summer, but all of my good friends have gone, and I don’t make new friends very easily. Well, I make friends easily, just not friends who I feel like I can ask to hang out and stuff – just friends who I can have fun with at parties. Do you have any advice as to how I can make the most of this situation?
–Bored in H-Town
I could introduce you to my friends! I really love Houston, though, and I have found over the years that Houston is a great city for loners. There are tons of cafes, museums, parks, and cultural type things where it’s not totally weird to be by yourself. I would make it “The Summer of George!” Come up with a project (losing weight, writing that novel, exploring your culture, meeting strangers at bars, and making out with random folks at the Miller Outdoor Theater). Sometimes, I get totally sick of people so I call up old friends, become penpals (oooh! I’ll be your pen pal!), reorganize my books, read some of my old favorites, and bask in the glory that is being Adri. You should bask in the unique glory that is Bored in H-Town.
06/01/2006
Did you know there’s another “Ask Adri?” http://www.askadri.zoomshare.com/
How does that make you feel? .
–Mr. Parade-Rainer-Oner
Seeing as how the other “Ask Adri” gives advice that looks like this:
Well dis 1 is a tuffy, um k u can stay look coulkd u stop saying dat cause its not true and i dont like it or if that doesnt work tellur parents 2 tlk 2 the teacher bout it or just tell him urself. if u dont want 2 or dont think u need 2 then u can try and just ignore them wich im sure u’ve been doing or ask sum off ur friends 2 help u stand p 4 urself. Those 2 boyz in particular R soooooooooo anoying! Hope my advice works and Best wishes from (k)Ask Adri(k). AHEM!
I believe that I reign superior. Cuz dude, I can spell. And you don’t want to kill yourself just from reading my advice. Although I do agree. Those 2 boyz in particular R soooooooooo anoying!
