06/27/2006
Why is the sky blue?
–I’ve been wondering…
There’s a great scientific answer available if you do the google thing. Otherwise, I’ll venture that the sky is blue because the cockroaches that secretly rule the earth told it to be blue. And it was good.
06/26/2006
I gave my number to a girl I met on Saturday night. I might be asking this because I haven’t had a date in over a year, but after how many days should I just tell myself, “She’s not calling, I should forget about it”?
–Javi
I would say ten days. After ten days, she’s probably forgotten, misplaced it, or decided not to call. It’s okay. Keep giving out that number. Statistically speaking, you’ll be getting calls at some point. That’s how these things work, for everyone. I promise.
06/22/2006
How do you pronounce “Quetzalcoatl”? This gringo is curious.
–Not a Mormon
Ket-zahl-coh-at-l.
Why does the US suck at soccer?
–Gringo
The US doesn’t suck at soccer. They just suck at winning games. My general theory has to do with socio-economics. We tend to find players for the side through college soccer teams or at least really good high school players. But we aren’t looking on the streets or in neighborhoods where Youth Soccer isn’t run by Moms in minivans. Some of the greatest players in the world in every sport have been born in the gutter and have used sport as their only means out of extraordinary circumstances. Our players simply don’t have that kind of passion. They have heart and skill, but a certain type of passion is lacking. And that’s what counts at this level. Of course there are a million opinions out there, but that’s just mine.
06/21/2006
Do you have a boyfriend or not?
–I want to know
Yes. His name is Pete. And we’re off-again, on-again, off-again. So any given day of the week the answer is “no.” I don’t precisely tell everyone, because no girl totally advertises her unavailability publically. But at this exact moment, at 6:51PM on June 21st, the longest day of the year, I do indeed have a boyfriend named Pete.
06/19/2006
My ex-girlfriend’s erstwhile lesbian lover just became one of my MySpace friends. Is that weird?
–I Prefer Friendster
It’s only weird if it’s weird for you. I know that sounds like half-assed bullshit advice. But, if you are uncomfortable, I would certainly not put her in your top 8 (insert witty comment regarding my clever myspace reference, I’m so savvy). You can always do as I do and write “Dude, you shag my girlfriend” on her wall. Nothing says “this isn’t awkward better than turning it into a big joke. Unless of course you hate her. In which case…. click. scroll. defriend.
06/10/2006
Do MFA programs usually want applicants to take the GRE, or is acceptance based only on your writing samples?
–A Literate
When I applied to MFA programs, some required GREs and some didn’t. It would be a matter of looking up the requirements for each institution. The GREs are nowhere near as important as your writing sample though. But it’s a good way to break a tie for some schools.
06/09/2006
I’m out here in Odessa, where the good in women are as scarce as the trees. I can’t seem to find a girl that isn’t married or divorced with a kid and has good dental hygiene. While sometimes I think I’m a bit picky, those things are too much to ask for are they? What do I do!?
–Javi
Well, Javi, I would try the internet! While some people have impossible standards, yours sound pretty reasonable to me. You are allowed to not want bad teeth and a child. I would try different matching websites, friends of mine have had success on nerve.com, match.com, eharmony.com, and any other number of sites out there. If you’re not into the whole “meeting online” thing, you could always find a couple of bars, get friends of yours to introduce you, look up singles clubs or singles activities, go to church more (it works), or simply ask other people in your position what they did. And if it doesn’t happen, then move! Sometimes you just won’t find the right person. There’s no need to pressure yourself into finding somoene that’s simply not there.
