07/24/2006
Adri, I dated a girl about six years ago. I really loved her. She was my first love, my first kiss, and the first girl I was really with (if you know what I mean). She broke up with me after a couple of months (6), because things got complicated (I know it was my fault). Anyway, she and I are still great friends. I see her every now and then (we live thousands of miles apart), and there still seems to be some chemistry. I want to move on, but I can’t help but think that we have a shot at sticking together. She has a boyfriend now, but I know that he’s not the right guy for her and she knows it too. I think I am that guy. What do I do? How do I do it? Where do I go from here?
–Far Far Away

I feel like I’ve been on both ends of this situation before. I would just call her up and tell her. Or go visit her, take her out to dinner, and then tell her. But being silent about something as important as your heart and your love for someone can be poison. Worst case scenario: she says “no,” you’re heartbroken, but at least you gave it a shot and know it’s not going anywhere any more. If it’s been six years, she probably has a better view on why things went down the way they did between you, and she’ll be able to give you the most honest answer. Especially considering she’s your friend. If your friendship could surive a breakup, I’m sure it could survive this. But do yourself a favor and figure out if you really do need to move on, cuz dude, it’s been six years.

07/23/2006
Thank you Adri, truly. This is some good advice. My mind spins so quickly, that sometimes that feels like the only real solution. I wish I had better answers, but, I am too committed to this world to quit so suddenly; it’s just a horrifying sweet dream.
Solutions! I crave them so badly
I’m sorry for your ulcer. There are other (better) altruists at work at that than me, a pathetic tortured pseudo-altruist.
PS You’re exactly right. I do need a swift, hard kick in the nuts. I just sought to end my plaguing silence by sending you a message (and plaguing you in turn). I’m so horrible. For all the vanishing thought is worth, we love you Adriana.
–Same Guy As Before

Well, don’t apologize for sending me your thoughts. That’s why I’m here. To help answer any and all questions thrown my way. So keep asking, I love you too, and chin up. I find that taking a step back and putting things in perspective is harder than one thinks. I know it takes me a lot most days to really look at my life from a distance. But we’re all in it together and that’s why friendships are so important. So, if you know me in a real life, feel free to drop me a line and hit me up for a drink. I’m totally good at that.

07/22/2006
Since I’m graduating in May, I am applying to grad schools this fall, but I keep having panic attacks that I won’t get in anywhere. Everyone I talk to keeps asking me where I’m applying, but I’m second-guessing where I want to apply because I won’t get into those schools. Plus, I have to retake the GRE because my score wasn’t as high as it needed to be. HELP! What should I do?
–Sarah

Calm down! Retake the GRE (it’s a test that tests how well you test, so the more you test the better you’ll test on the testing test). I would say don’t apply to a school that wouldn’t actually attend. If you would go, then apply. If not, don’t settle. Always be able to answer with pride. So yeah, calm down, take it easy, talk to professors who can best analyze your stengths. Talk to people in your field and rock it. It’s your senior year. Have fun.

07/20/2006
Handicap the NPS [National Poetry Slam] 2006 field.
Who are the top tier teams, the middle tier, and who’s going 2 and out?
–The Online Gambling Community

After using a complicated algorithm developed my comp sci friends, incorporating team experience, finals stage appearances, individual poet strengths, and NPS/IWPS appearances, as well as allowing two random freak-show upsets, here is the answer to that question (I blame the math, this is not my opinion of what will happen at the National Poetry Slam):

Top tier- Austin, Worcester, Brooklyn, Hollywood, Dallas, Ft. Worth, Berkeley, Louder Arts, Boston Cantab, ABQ, Denver, Seattle, Providence, Urbana, Chicago, and LA.

Middle tier- Flagstaff, Detroit, Columbus, Houston, Ventura, Oakland, Charlotte, Columbia, Hawaii, Boston Lizard, Nuyorican, DC Baltimore, San Antonio and San Jose

2 and out (again, says the math)- Atlanta, Knoxville, Corvallis, Colorado Springs, Farmington, Ithaca, Delray Beach, and Lincroft.

Of course, my pick to take the whole thing? Shit. That’s a tough question. Good thing you didn’t ask that. I can definintely tell you my favorites, but they aren’t necessarily on any of those lists.

07/17/2006
Imagine you fall in love. Really. Imagine you’ve had a crush on someone for four years now, and it’s not showing any signs of subsiding. Imagine that they are in love with someone else–that the stabbing beauty of night and remembrance is in love with someone more solid and with a cleaner history. Imagine you been through helland back–jail and wrist cutting and whatnot–and still receive the same lukewarm responses. There’s no dignity of a good end. You’re staring at the door to your apartment, and are having trouble fighting the thought of hanging yourself with your ethernet cord. You’re craving such beautiful, disastrous finality. What is your next move?
PS-You actually know me, I’m not just another random guy.
–a fellow suffer-er and wanna-be poet

Imagine you are in love. Check. The rest of the checklist isn’t so easy. Unrequited love, anxiety, passion… Look. If she (he? er… we’ll stick with she for now) has fallen for the “cleaner” and more “solid” person, and this is the person you really love, (And by “love,” I mean “LOVE”) then you have to start looking at what it is about you that could possibly be turning her off. Having a past can be exciting and romantic. So jail-time and life experience isn’t a notch against you.

It seems to me that you need a swift kick in the pants (in a good way). Stop feeling sorry for yourself. No one is a attracted to some mopey self-pitying emo kid. I would never change who I am for a girl or a boy, but from the sounds of it, if you are letting this person’s opinion and heart rule your life, then you need to make some changes pronto. Figure out what is best for you, what you want, and what you need to do and who you need to be to get what you want. Screw her. If she doesn’t want you, she doesn’t want you. Not every romance ends in happiness. Suck it up, clean up, move on, and get your shit together.

If you want to commit suicide over another person, well. You won’t be the first and you won’t be the last. But as romantic as that sounds, I’ve had so many friends fight with every last breath to stay alive in the face of tremendous adversity that your killing yourself over another’s feelings seems a little illogical. If you’re a poet, then you have your art. Write. Create. Craft. And find something to live for other than “stabbing beauty of the night.”

I know you’re probably upset at some of things I’ve said. But, I’ve been out of the country for three weeks. And I have an ulcer. Maybe this has made me a little less patient. I’ve had my heart broken three times, and I’m still here. We all are. What’s my next move??? Take a leap and stop being a whiny loser.