Right, so I used to be in a really good liberal arts school, developed a hard drug habit and was asked to leave. I returned home insecure and anxious about life and joined another college and things are slowly but surely working out now. I’m drug-free for the first time in years and happier than I ever was. But I feel like by all accounts I should be involved with a woman by now. I’ve dated a few women on and off but it never seems to work out. There is this one girl in one of the colleges I go to (I attend two at the moment) with whom I talk every so often that just blows my mind. We have coffee every so often and she comes with me to reiki appointments and we end up having the most amazing, deep conversations. She had a rough breakup a few months ago and she’s fooling around at the moment. This is the first girl I truly fancy as the ‘new’ me. By this I mean that I am a man who has his shit somewhat pulled together and tries to live a fuller, happier, substance-free existence day in, day out. I’m smart, good-looking and a great listener, but I’ve always had problems finding the right women for me. Adri, what should I do? –NeveroddoreveN

There’s never a clear answer to a question like this, my pallindromic friend. Persistence is key, if you like her: make your intentions clear and procede at a pace that makes you comfortable. There’s no sercret way to make someone like you, except to be good to them, be patient, and stay true to your objective. Don’t let yourself get sucked into best friend mode, only to find no way out. As you’re probably used to hearing “one day at a time” is really the only way to go. Relationships are a lot more confusing and addicting than drugs. I’m glad you’re getting your life together. Sounds like things are looking up. Be confident, groomed, charming, and articulate and the ladies will notice before you know it.