Adri,
Awesome to have Ask Adri back. I really missed it. I just started seeing someone last week. We spend a lot of time together even though we both work at the station, so we always end up spending late nights together after shows.
She’s really sweet, easy to talk to, not shy, but pretty quiet. We really like each other and she’s just got that thing that makes her desirable to most of the guys that meet her, and I’m really lucky to be seeing her.

Anyways, she wants to take things pretty slow. I kinda have to work at just getting her to sit next to me or hold her hand. I got shut down the first time I tried to kiss her and have only brought it up once since then and only because she asked me what I was thinking and I told her honestly, “I’m thinking I really want to kiss you.”

So I guess I figure that since I can’t force the moment, I’ll just let it come. I guess what I’m asking is at what point do I have to take a step back and ask what’s going on or what’s wrong? Because I’m afraid that when that moment presents itself again, she’ll just fall back on “I’m not quite there yet. I want to get to know you better.”

-Javi

First of all, thanks for your kind words re: Ask Adri. Now, regarding your own situation, let’s recap: you like this girl and she likes you. You’ve ascertained this and you want to move forward. Forward being kissing, holding hands, and doing more than late night talks. But she doesn’t want to do this yet, and instead wants to “take things slow.” I find myself wanting more information, what did she say to you when you told her you wanted to kiss her?

It’s hard to gauge the situation from what you’ve told me. So, I think you should do what any intelligent person would do in this situation- research! Find out about her, her past relationships, and what she wants. It seems you’ve made it clear what you want out of things (“I want to kiss you.”), but do you know what she hopes to get out of this relationship? If she’s told you that she likes you, does she mean it a romantic way?

The problem is “I like you” can mean a lot of different things to different people. So be wary, do some research, and find out where you stand. Don’t let yourself get so emotionally wrapped up in this girl that before you know it, you’ll be getting a “that’s not what I meant at all.” I’m a big fan of the direct approach. “Where do you see this going?” can be more effective than watching her struggle to hold your hand. Also, be careful of thinking that you’re “lucky to be seeing her.” That’s a load of crap. If you start idolizing her now, she will never respect you. Start treating her  like an accessible human being and realize that maybe she’s lucky to have a caring, patient man seeing her.