I’ve recently been sleeping around a lot, which make me REALLY happy. One of the guys I’ve been hanging out with sent me a text message saying that he missed me. Though I didn’t tell him (or anyone, really), it kinda freaked me out, and made me realize that I must be some kind of relationship-phobic, which I don’t guess is healthy. I’m not sure what to do about this whole issue. Continue having casual sex, pretend that I don’t have this problem? Address the issue, buckle down and try a relationship? (Ok, that’s not gonna happen.) What the fuck is wrong with me? Only guys are supposed to be relationship-phobic! – Commit-o-phobe

So let me get this straight. You’re having sex, which is good. But one of your partners actually wants something more than sex with you and you don’t like it. You think that because you didn’t like this guy text messaging you, that you  must be some kind of relationship-phobic person, and because this doesn’t conform to some kind of hegemonic discourse on normativity, you feel like you are therefore “unhealthy” or a “freak.” I can’t diagnose you as having a problem, and you can’t really diagnose yourself. Because then it’s the Problem and not you. And while pathologizing yourself does a good job of making you unaccountable for your situation, you may just have to deal with the reality of the situation: you didn’t like this guy text messaging you that he missed you, because you don’t miss him. If you find someone to miss, you’ll probably miss them. But until then, if you are happy, then you shouldn’t worry about your Problem. Now, if you are legitimately concerned, then you may want to consider changing things. But you sure as hell can’t force yourself to like someone you don’t. And if you’re fucking him and that’s all you want to do, then as long as you make that clear to him and yourself, there should be no Problem or problem. Nothing is wrong with you unless you choose to see it that way. And I know plenty of guys that aren’t relationship-phobic at all.

Just go out and keep on shagging, as long as you’re safe and responsible. If you can’t handle taking responsibility for your self, then you may want to consider an alternative. Like abstinence or a “real” relationship. But ultimately that won’t “solve” your Problem. I’m not even sure you have one.