Craigslist via Scanner
In Scanner today, a post about a Craigslist Missed Connection I am glad not to miss.
I wish I had that converstation [sic] to do over again. We met at Boulevard Tavern and both had had a little too much to drink. After talking about bands, we began discussing “deal breakers.” It just so happened that this was a day or so after I awoke with what felt like mosquito bites on my arms and shoulders, and I told you that I thought they might be bedbug bites. You told me that you would never sleep in a bed that had bedbugs or with a man who had ever slept with bedbugs and I, offended, told you that I would never sleep with a woman who had ever had an outbreak of herpes. Then you stalked off, leaving me with my PBR to wonder how an evening that began with such promise could end so badly.
OK, first of all, I got rid of most of my bedding, washed the rest in very hot water, encased the mattresses in vinyl encasements, and brought in an exterminator. He is convinced from the pattern and number of bites that it was a SPIDER that got me, not bedbugs. It’s been six days since I last got bit, and if there were bedbugs there, I’d have been bitten every night since. Didn’t happen, so maybe it was a spider or a mosquito after all. No matter, the place has been cleaned and sprayed, so there is less chance of bedbugs here than wherever else you might choose to end up. (And, not to gross you out, but homeless dudes on the subway are always shedding whatever is crawling on their skin. I know you ride the L line, so how do you know you are not picking up bedbug eggs from sitting where a homeless dude with a filthy blanket has just sat?) As far as the herpes crack goes, I don’t know if you have it or not, but I use condoms, and you could use valtrex, so why should this stop us? I felt a connection with you, a real one, a surprising one. It isn’t often that a man like me, living in SoHo with all those pretentious artist types, managing a mutual fund, gets to meet a girl with your look and sensitivities. I think there is something there between us worth pursuing, and we should not let the false possibility of bedbugs or blisters get between us. Write back. I want a mulligan.
So here’s the question… would you go out with this guy?
Because part of me kinda would.