ask adri
vanity of the big-headed cubus*
US V. Mexican Soccer
Categories: Answers

Hi Adri…. first, I’d like to say hello. If you don’t remember who I am, next time I will try to introduce myself again. Anyway, the question is…. How can I explain to gringos that their national soccer team and league is nowhere near Mexico level of gameplay? The gringos are starting to claim they are the best in the area and well, they certainly aren’t. – Hugo Coss

1) There is a team in the US league called “Chivas USA.” In order to attract fans and assure the public that the MLS was any good, they had to name a team after a Mexican team.

2) In the US soccer moms pick their children up from soccer practice in a mini-van. In Mexico, you run home. Better conditioning.

3) If the USA beats Mexico, it’s “an upset.” If Mexico beats the US, it’s called “expected.”

4) Mexican stars retire to the US league.

5) David Beckham is training with the Arsenal in the off-season, because the Galaxy does not train during the off-season. He can’t work out with his own team, because they are a bunch of lazies. In Mexico, there is no off-season.

6) People attend Mexican league games. In fact, not only do they attend, but they fill the whole damn place up. Because they want to see good soccer. Because they know what good soccer is. Because it’s futbol and not soccer. And sitting in the stadium in Puebla is hardcore. You feel like you’re going to fall out of your seat and die every five seconds. But you don’t care. Because the league is far more important than personal safety.

In US soccer, on a good day, the stadium is 50% full.

7) Mexicans have better hair.

v

8 ) Mexican soccer doesn’t need David Beckham to boost interest in the sport. And there’s no freaking off-season.

9) Name the last international tournament that the US was (a) invited to and (b) successful.

10) There are Gringos out there that think US soccer matches Mexican in gameplay? Seriously?

PS I totally remember you Hugo.

10 Comments to “US V. Mexican Soccer”

  1. [...] because the Galaxy does not train during the off-season. . . In Mexico, there is no off season.read more | digg [...]

  2. Javi says:

    I wouldn’t say that it’s “expected” for the U.S. to beat Mexico every time they play them. After all, it’s still understood that, overall, soccer in Mexico is better than that in the United States.

    But here’s a fact that Mexico soccer fans have to deal with:

    Right now, the best of the U.S. is better than the best of Mexico.

    The trend began in 1990, a year that marked a significant turning point for both Mexico and the US. Mexico was disqualified from the World Cup while the U.S. qualified for the first time since 1950. Ever since then, the U.S. is 13-7-6 against Mexico. Although, everyone points to 2000. In this decade, Mexico is just 2-9-1 against the U.S.A. And both of those wins were at home.

    In fact, Mexico hasn’t beaten the U.S. on American soil since 1999, which is also the last year that Mexico has beaten the U.S. in consecutive matches.

    But wait…. THERE’S MORE!

    These two teams have only played once in futbol’s biggest and brightest stage: the World Cup.

    And the United States DOMINATED that game to the tune of a 2-0 score and advanced to the quarterfinal against Germany where Landon Donovan played the game of his life and yet didn’t score because of a bogus no-call on a clear hand-ball.

    That was the greatest U.S. soccer team in history and it’s probably the best I’ve ever seen a team play not just without winning, but without scoring.

    But I’ll wrap it up by saying this: The United States will beat Mexico on February 7th at Reliant Stadium. I’m not expecting it, but I’m pretty confident.

  3. Hugo says:

    Javi… there is no way you can say the best of the U.S. is better than the best of Mexico. Mexico’s starting line up has 7 starters that play for top european teams. The united states has players that have gone to europe, failed, and had to come back to the mere MLS league. come on, you cant argue the names in Mexico’s team are much much better than the US. Landon Donovan only plays well against Mexico. thats basically it for the US, Landon Donovan…. he’s the only one who fights for the jersey, all the others are just pretty white college boys who like to play soccer. No talent.

  4. Hugo says:

    oh. i forgot, February 6th MEXICO 2 – US 0 Landon Donovan will get a red card sue to his frustration.

  5. Hugo says:

    oh. i forgot, February 6th MEXICO 2 – US 0 Landon Donovan will get a red card due to his frustration.

  6. Javi says:

    Hugo, all that sounds great… on paper. But we know that international competition isn’t played on paper. If the game was a series of one-on-one matches somehow pitting the teams against each other, NO DOUBT Mexico would win.

    But the fact of the matter is that not only is the U.S. team better when it matters, when the games are played, this is happening in a time when the sports’ popularity is constantly growing. Unless Mexico wins some big significant matches against the U.S. soon, you’re going to have a whole generation of fans that hasn’t experienced any of Mexico’s greatness when it’s played on American soil.

    So for your sake, Mexico had BETTER win, otherwise, the hole is just gonna keep getting deeper.

  7. brittany says:

    i think its so funny when the US beats mexico and all the fans say it was “an upset”
    what makes it even funnier is when US keeps beating mexico and its still called “an upset”
    and hate to break your heart but the US soccer team will only go up in skill because of the growing popularity….but mexico has been playing soccer for god knows how long and thats the best team they have..

    and i laughed when i read this
    “2) In the US soccer moms pick their children up from soccer practice in a mini-van. In Mexico, you run home. Better conditioning.”
    Have you been to mexico?
    The kids play with other kids from their pueblo so naturally where they are playing is closer to their homes….
    unlike in the US the teams are actually organized and automobile transportation is necessary..

    but i guess another reason they would run home is because their parents cant afford a mini van..

  8. HUGO says:

    Brittany, have you been to Mexico??? or maybe you´ve only been to your pueblo. I live in mexico and not only can we afford mini-vans, we can afford alot more than that. PLUS this sport has been popular forever, it is only growing in your little bubble called United States. you better like it because your other sports in fact, are decreasing popularity outside US. Soccer may be the only steroid-free sport in the US, and that is still to be checked…. we must check donovan, maybe he really should have been 120lbs and 5ft tall.

  9. George says:

    Mexico’s all-time record against USA since 1934 is
    30-14-11. Nuff’ said.