A Question for You, Gentle Reader*

So I was taking a bath tonight**, and even though the water was super hot, there wasn’t any steam. Oh, I thought, this must be because it is so cold that the water isn’t even steaming.

tub

But this makes no sense. Because when I’m outside, and the temperature difference is greater than it is inside, my relatively high temperature breath makes steam, which it doesn’t when temperature difference is lower. So, by logic, the hot water from my bath should have made even more steam than usual, instead of no steam at all, because the water was hot and its cold as Jeebus’s nails in this apartment.

Yet, when one is in a sauna, the hotness of the room makes it even steamier, right? A steam room is by definition hot. Hotness creates steam. So a cold room shouldn’t steam up as much as a super hot room, right? I feel like when I take a hot shower in summer, the room gets gross and hot, like a horny jungle.

I know there’s a real simple answer, and I’m probably being dumb. But right now, I’m too tired (read: lazy, but not too lazy to ask my readers because I was already updating the website anyway, so I may as well ask you)—too tired to start googling things like “why doesn’t my shower steam so much,” because I’m more likely to get “steaming shower scene with so much doesn’t and hot young XXXXXXX girls steaming hot sexy why why why time!” than an actual answer.

You guys have brains. Brains that are better than mine. Explain it to me, please. Preferably in the comments section. I’ll mail you a cookie. Promise.

*I am in love with the phrase “gentle reader.” I want to use it all the time. In everything I write. I like to think of you all as gentle.

**Fully clothed and demurely, of course. You perverts!