Because A Man’s Hair Is Important

From Craigslist:

braid my Man`s hair (pittsburgh)

We are looking to find Male/female able to corn row maybe with exotic parting, to braid a Puerto Rican man`s hair (my husband)
His hair is approx 3in
We are looking for estimates as when we begin getting his hair braided we want it done 2x monthy prehaps more.
Please no Drama we are just looking to let his hair grow but, we want him to look well groomed.
We are looking to hire ASAP.
WE ARE IN Verona you can come here or WE CAN COME TO YOU…
DON’T TALK ABOUT IT BE ABOUT IT!!!!
SKILLED ONLY PLEASE.

After reading that inspired post, sent to me via email by a loyal reader, AskAdri (that’s me) decided to reply in the only way AskAdri could: publicly. On the internet. Right here.

To a woman who understands the importance of a man’s hair:

I am that soul which you seek. I can cornrow all kinds of exotic partings, from the Skeletor Wink to the Roadhouse Norwegian. My hands are fast like a cherry-picker on speed—I can braid your Boricua’s strands into submission. I do Russian hair, Papua New Guinean hair, Tulsa hair (how’s that for exotic!)—there is no follicle I cannot tame. I welcome the challenge of maintaining your man’s groomage. I will keep him sexyfied as his hair grows out. I will do all for him and more at the most reasonable of rates.

And yet, alas, we cannot be. For I read in your ad that you want “no Drama,” and, unfortunately, Drama is my middle name. I could have COME TO YOU with my SKILLED hands, but my own SELF has killed this dream.

I am through with talking about it. I shall only be about it now. And by “it,” I of course mean, “my Drama” or “your man’s hair.” One of those.

Sincerely,

AskAdri

Sometimes I like google image searching the random phrases that pop into my head. Today’s post was possible through the participation of “Skeletor Wink.”

skeletor-wink

And so is born AskAdri’s newest cathphrase: “Don’t talk about it. Be about it.” Except you’re supposed to say it like it’s in all-caps. Like you mean it. Like you need to get your man some braids on the internet. In Pittsburgh.

DON’T TALK ABOUT IT BE ABOUT IT!!!!