Adri,

On a month and a half ago I hooked up with a guy I met at the party I went to.  We had a few mutual friends, but had never met.  The next morning we exchanged numbers awkwardly and I never expected to hear from him again.  We texted a few times that week and then nothing. (He moved from Houston to Central Texas for grad school that week). Then 3 weeks after sleeping together he calls and says he will be driving through Houston on his way to his hometown and asks me to go along… to his parents house!  I couldn’t go because 1) I had to work and 2) I was seriously freaked out.

Then he calls the next day and says he ended up staying in Houston for the night at his friends’ apartment.  He invites me over and we end up hanging out with his friends for 2 hours.  Then we went out to dinner, which he paid for, and then I went back to work.  After I got off work we went out for ice cream.  We kissed at the end of the night and he said he would be back in town in a few weeks.

Now, short of a few texts and random calls, nothing. What the hell is this?  I had fun and kinda like him, but don’t want to seem clingy or psycho.  I am in fuck buddy territory or what?

Seriously Confused

Look, I tend to avoid mixed signals, because they do nothing but make me sound convoluted when I try to sort them out. But here goes a try…

He’s incommunicado, and he’s pretty chill when you hang out, so you’re probably shag buddies. But then again, he’s keen to call you when he’s in town and he’s also willing to take you to meet his folks, which puts you in possible more-than-just-shagging territory. Even in potential-relationship territory. Which could mean that he doesn’t have that many sexy lady friends in Houston and/or that his parents are very cool with him bringing over shag buddies. (For some reason, when I type the F word I feel a little dirty, so I stick so silly euphemisms.)

Yeah, I would treat it like shag-buddies until he broaches otherwise. Just assume that he’s eccentric, and put yourself in the best position to be least affected when this fizzles out into nothing. Guy doesn’t sound like he has a real plan here, so don’t even bother.

Maybe his parents weren’t home and you’re reading way too much into something that doesn’t actually mean that much. Or maybe he just wanted to prove to his parents that he had a girlfriend. Or maybe he’s just weird. Or wants something totally different. Either way, you’re not on the same page, so fret not. If you don’t want to be clingy or psycho, be neither. Just disengage or keep your interactions brief and light. Like a candle.