There are nights when I cannot sleep, for instead of seeking slumber, I am composing elaborate speeches. I’ve gotten quite good. This, I will explain to my imaginary audience, is how I feel about you. And I will go on to delineate a thousand reasons why you, my sweet one, are wrong, and I am [...]

Dear Adri, This may be a strange question, but I’m not quite sure where and how to ask. I feel that if I mention this to my guy friends, they’ll think I’m weird, and I don’t have any girl friends. I’m almost thirty and my girlfriend is almost thirty-four, which she maintains is a huge [...]

I am a girl. Lately, I’ve noticed that my body smells funkier than before. I don’t think it’s a clinical thing, it’s just my body is starting to smell differently. I’m afraid that my body chemistry is changing as I age, but I’m not too sure that’s possible. Do girls just change smells as they [...]

The staples that held together my abdomen were removed this morning. The lady who pulled them out (with pliers!) told me that I looked pretty freaking awesome for someone who had a massive tumor removed a week ago. My wound is relatively small and healing well, my demeanor is saucy, and my sense of humor [...]

My head feels like it’s the size of a small planet. I keep getting dizzy and there’s no real accounting as to the whys and whats of this. Every time the phone rings while I’m conscious, I silence it because I’m tired of having the same conversation. Perfect. I’m becoming a misanthrope. “Becoming,” like …

Got my orders on Friday. Gave some blood, took a urine sample, let them put monitors on my heart and x-ray my chest for a while that afternoon. Filled out paperwork. Told them I was Catholic in case a priest needed to be called. Spent yesterday driving around with parents and hanging out with old [...]

Woke up yesterday morning, took a shower, got dressed, stuffed a bag full of necessaries, sat down at the computer and promptly developed back pain. Good times! Doctor says it’s stress. Lots of stress. Wonder why I’m under stress? Oh, yeah… Tumors! Saw the doctor in McAllen. Got a second opinion. Turns out that Loplop [...]

So in Greek Mythology, when a baby of some consequence is born, the oracle is consulted. The oracle then says something along the lines of “Baby Oedipus will kill his father and marry his mother.” Then the parents freak out, send the baby away, and later, when the baby is an adult, the baby freaks [...]

Adri: I heard that nalgene was hazardous to your health. Is that true? – Curio I’m not sure, I poked around and found this. My friend Joe swears that nalgene is terrible. But here’s what my friendly scientist friend has to say: Sometimes, these “dangerous” chemicals really aren’t and people still get their panties in [...]